landscape. falling. an ever continuous state of apocalypse. the first kiss was the beginning of the end. in 1492 they brought plants and insects and disease. earthworms. there were no earthworms here in 1492, not since the ice age, when earthworms were frozen out of existence. european bees. european earthworms. pine trees. fresh water. community spirit. you insist on believing in action. if you are on every committee you can bring the people together. working together entails love. we can love these new earthworms. save ourselves from the planet. save ourselves from politicians in texas. you want to believe that hard work entails respect. i agree that the babies on the street need food. we can feed some of them. some of them will be hungry forever. there's nothing we can do about hungry. walking through potholes. watching our houses burn. the disease is still spreading. since 1492. since the first amoeba. evolution. revolution. i agree, it feels better to have goals. optimism. feeding babies. i was eating eggs with S the other day and we created a strategy for the babies. tell them to save every penny. eat vegetarian. stay away from the mall. and walmart. or, when the moment is right, take over walmart. take over the world. as if it would matter. idealism is always subsumed by something else. not something else, the main thing. the real condition of things. hope only last so long. until it is part of the system. then the system wins. S and i decided this was too much for the babies. they don't want to know. we decided to tell them to eat eggs, drink milk, and save pennies. the rest can wait. the virus is slow moving. we will be doing this for a long time still. continue watching the slow tear in the fabric spread. i am glad you have not given up. some streets remain intact. we still have saturday mornings. moments of rest.